We will know then…

How many times more are we going to avenge for something which doesn’t really exist? 17523106_1904613703092508_6067074153018746273_n.jpg
How many times we follow Quran or Sunnah in our daily routines that when it comes to harming someone we make self-made laws of Islam and use them to satisfy our own blood lust.

My beloved Prophet SWT was the one who forgave an old lady who w
ould throw rubbish on him, without a delay of single second.
He would forgive those who were pretending to be Muslims.
He prayed for those who planned and plotted to kill him several times.
He never killed anyone for His sake and fir the sake of someone he loved.
Especially when you don’t even have any evidence?

Dont you know? There are laws, even when it comes to any kind of execution?
You think you follow Shariyah (Islamic Law) all the time?
Only once, show me the history of your browser and I will put forth your life full of flaws, against the same Shariyah law.
Then you can decide your own punishment.

Why at the place, where you’re suppose to get ILM (knowledge) you instead learnt FASAAD  (aberrance)  ?
Why didn’t your heart bleed and your lips tremble when you were roaring Taqbeer (Praising God) out loud?
You either don’t know what is the meaning of being THE GREATEST or you don’t know the strength of being THE GREATEST.

Even He is Ar-Rehman and Ar-Raheem  ( Merciful) ?
You cannot even count the numbers of the roadies, druggies, athiests, non-muslims etc who revert to Islam daily..no no, not because of you, you didn’t leave a single reason for them to have a faith in Allah. It’s because of THE GREATEST, THE ALMIGHTY who wanted them to learn about His deen (religion) , through only and only Quran and Prophet’s life, otherwise seeing such acts who wouldn’t want to label us as terrorists?

Today, we didn’t only fail as a citizen of Pakistan or as a Muslim, we failed as mere human beings. We have no tawaqul (fear of God). We are lost. We are sad and hopeless.

We will soon be in the same dust, no matter how and why, but we will be and then, and then, when our Allah will ask us about haqooq-ul-ibaad (duties towards mankind) , we will run towards others to hide our heads but then, then my people, there would be no one but our amaals (deeds).

We will know then…
We will know then…!

#MashalKhan

 

Written in the honour of a student who was murdered brutally by his university fellows by using the law of blasphemy wrongly.

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War and Peace


Today again I saw a mother cry,

A father feel the hopelessness,

A brother having a silent sobs,

A sister dying for some peace,

Today again I saw faith dying,

Today again someone tried 

Today again more innocents were hushed,

Today again more sacrifices were made,

It happened yesterday,

Today,

With the fragrance of hopes in the martyrs blood..

With the passion for freedom..

For a better

Tomorrow. ❤
#Kashmir #Syria #Palestine #ForAllTheWorld #ForPeace #ForLove
Sep 26, 2016
-Shanawar

“Did you mean it?”


So just today someone asked me a question which lead to so many thoughts in my head. 
The question was, “Alhamdulilah (All thanks to Allah) for this life and all the blessings but still, how to deal with continuous rejection leading to depression? 

And then there comes one hope that makes me feel happy and after some days that dissappears too.”

Since I myself, have been to the places where I needed such advices and I still do but more often I’m alone at that vary moment and trying to figure things on my own, which honestly hurts. So I tend to reply real quick to my friends who are going through such difficult phases, even if I might be of no help most of the times haha.

My reply was precise but I wanted to be honest, really honest. I replied to her that, “It happens. Im not going to console you or tell you that after sabr (patience), infinite patience life will be bed of roses because it doesnt work like that and I’ve told this to so many people (not even entirely believing in it myself). But one thing I noticed. We have to continuously work on ourselves. Like day and night, every tiny moment. We have to think of the fact that we are bearing this or doing a certain thing for Allah subhanahu taala (The most glorified). It doesn’t get easier but next time you get disappointed, you dont think about it more than 3 days or a week max. You’re like,  “oh well it was meant to happen” and you literally move on. It’s a forever thing. We will be disappointed from lots of stuff, like daily or monthly or yearly. We cant change it or the people. We cant do anything but keeping us busy and do our thing, live our life at best by owning the facts and figures. Again, it wont change a single thing about your life or people but it will make you flexible and think a lil differently. Then a stage comes, you are fine with everything, the good, the bad, the evil, the pure. Everything   x”

She did tell me that my words always helped her but this got me thinking, do they really? I mean, I can never understand her pain. I might have been through some real disasters but we all have our own disasters. Our stories vary and we can never compare the agony of each and every one of them.

Her question actually made me think about different aspects of life. We all want to be happy, we all know that things will be okay and deep inside, we do believe that somethings are meant to be. But do we actually share the honest opinion with others? Oh it is so sooo easy to tell someone, “Don’t worry”, “Everything will be okay”, most of us even quote this to every single person who complains, that Allah says in Quran, “After pain, comes ease.”

But do we actually believe in the words we say to others? Do we mean them? Or they are just empty dialogues we learnt by watching our elders repeating them at occasionally. Sometimes at funerals or when someone gets divorced or loses a part of body in some severe accident. We are like, oh it’s okay, look at those who don’t even have this or that etc. And then passing them phrases on to our generations!!

Well here is what I think about it. I think it’s the worse we could do to someone, especially when they look upon you and knock at your door to help. We can not help others with fake tones of distressed quotes. We have to first help ourselves by believing and putting our own acts together. 

Words matter but what matters the most is the intention behind them. Because otherwise we are just being hypocrites. Allah subhanahu ta’ala actually mentioned intention in Quran for some reason.

Allah says , 

“لَا يُؤَاخِذُكُمُ اللَّهُ بِاللَّغْوِ فِي أَيْمَانِكُمْ وَلَٰكِنْ يُؤَاخِذُكُمْ بِمَا كَسَبَتْ قُلُوبُكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ

Allah will not call you to account for thoughtlessness in your oaths, but for the intention in your hearts; and He is Oft-forgiving, Most Forbearing. 

 Chapter 2 The Cow سورة البقرة – Al-Baqara: Verse 225″

They can definitely get better even without us, consoling their hearts. Why not then be more realistic, help them by actually caring about them. Drop by sometimes, help them with daily chores, maybe just send a little text to know if they are actually okay? Call them. Tell them, it is okay to cry. It is okay to feel the pain and you can always be their shoulder to cry on. Share quotes from around the world and show them kindness, do not just console and leave their sides and bump into them in markets and pretend you never knew they were upset at all.
Life is too short to be a beautiful human being. ❤

Think Anti-Bullying

13680655_1749683345252212_8299685917829991623_nIt’s not every day you wake up and realize that the world you live in has become a mess, you never expected or rather, never imagined of!

Yep, just like that.. I being a Pakistani, raised and brought up by absolutely amazing parents, who loved and cared about me like any parents would do. Who taught me world is beautiful and we as human beings are equally deserving of love and affection despite of our disputes among us.

I’ve been also taught about my religion and about the cultural norms my people share. The only difference is that I’m one of those lucky few who were given the choice, who were never forced to do a certain thing or follow a certain norm. I’ve been given the information, but how I want to live and follow it, is up to me. And trust me, that dear reader, is a tremendously huge BLESSING.

Despite of all these blessings, I have witnessed quite the evil around me. At different levels of life, I’ve seen people getting bullied merely because of their race or especially their “complexion”. Not to mention before puberty hit me hard, I was absolutely one of them. I have seen the hate people spread. I’ve seen people going to the extreme extend of their depreciable behavior to lower someone’s self-esteem and I’ve felt the pain, even for a time being but I absolutely have.
Speaking of the fact Worldwide, getting bullied over race is typically very common but getting bullied because of our skin tones with in our country of mild skin tones is rather impeccably absurd but even more common.

We follow everything West does, there’s nothing in particular you won’t find in Pakistan what you’ll find in other well developed countries. We are the mere trace or I should say left overs of western culture. It’s a mix and match and we love it. Problem is not following someone, that’s how world runs. We tend to be the followers of something better we see and that is okay. What particularly disturbs me is, that we are not ready to change our typical mindsets in (I reckon, well) FOREVER.

Just the other day I noticed how everyone was hash tagging and sharing articles/pictures about ‪#‎BlackLivesMatter‬. It was actually astonishing because those who tagged actually belong to the category of those Pakistani people who bully their own race with slightly “darker” skin tones. I actually had to scroll back to make sure if I wasn’t sleep reading. Fortunately I wasn’t and for a moment I thought, (actually I had a slip of a thought) that they changed but …
Here I would like to point to the fact that Black lives do matter, so does Off White, Yellow, Pink, White, Orange, Wheatish etc. As Muhammad Ali said, “Hating people because of their color is wrong. And it doesn’t matter which color does the hating. It’s just plain wrong.”

It is an absolute truth that in West throughout the eras of being developed and getting everything at its best i.e. High quality education, beautiful infrastructure, advanced technology and what not, things are still the same when it comes to race and its extremely horrendous how much suffer and pain those people have to go through living in the countries, which are not only highly developed but who also have centillion of followers from under developing or developing countries.

Here I’d like to mention according to a survey every 1 out of 4 kids get bullied around the world just because they have a different skin tone than the majority.
It would in fact amaze you to know that in other countries, there are racists, there’s social bullying, physical bullying etc. But all of these kinds do not include families. In fact families are the one who take a stand for their victimized child. It would be so sad to mention here that in Pakistan, you basically start getting bullied by your own family and relatives. It starts with light jokes, which go on till they depress you and make you into something scary, they would hate even more and the chain of disasters begin to happen. Worse in the end they would blame you for what you become.

One of my very close friends has an absolutely gorgeous tan skin and her struggles started while she was a mere cub. Trying to please relatives with her other abilities which were ignored just because she had a different skin tone than the rest of their kids. I or you can never imagine the pain, anxiety or depression it might have led to her whole life. Thinking of herself as worthless piece of a coal is the least we can imagine but to her it was a real struggle. Despite of all this it made her a steel rod human being. Today she is an engineer and an amazing strong woman who can speak for herself.

For females the pressure is even higher. It starts on an early level because they’re trained to win the race in Marriage Business. YESSS!!! If you’re not fair you’re not getting married, that’s all you hear till you do get married. Yes, its spoon fed to women like they are just born to get married one day.
When you’re heartbroken from your families, then you expect least from the people outside the safest place you call “home”.

In an article by Tribune, Dr Ayesha Mian chairperson and associate professor of psychiatry at the Aga Khan University Hospital Karachi, says that, “At least 50% of my patients agree when I ask them if they are being bullied at school.”
That’s another story, where you don’t want to interact to any person let alone the mass because you feel so flawed and unnatural. You feel that you were created the wrong way and nobody will accept you for you. A worse stage of denial which was basically infused in your brain by your own relatives. And the worse you can do to yourself is, accepting the lies people told you and assume that no matter what, people are going to hate you anyways. Which is not at all “RIGHT” and you certainly have no right to call yourself ugly. Because YOU ARE NOT. A God’s creation can never be “UGLY”.

In Quran Surah At-Tin verse 4 states clearly, “Certainly We created man in the best make.” Than how can you, I or anyone mock at someone’s physical appearance? Where does this leave us? Aren’t we actually making fun of ourselves? Well same God made you and me? Didn’t He?

You all are beautiful. We all are. There is nothing we need to beautify ourselves except a huge smile and courage to look at the world with different and extremely positive perspective. The picture I shared, none of these are my real skin tones. I’m wheatish pale and never in my life would I swap that with any other complexion. I can never be thankful enough to the One created me the way I am.
Least but not last, my concern are the people who bullied others their entire lives. It’s time we stop this retarded practice. It might feel so cool but trust me it destroyed many. Especially ones with low stamina or who had no one to show them that bullies speak only one language and that is “crap”. Whereas it built many stronger but many broke down to the point where they had suicidal thoughts and many even did it.

Science Daily reports shares that, “Researchers found that bullying at any age was associated with worse mental and physical health, increased depressive symptoms and lower self-worth.” We have to bring the change within ourselves and break these stereotypes. World would be much better if a little positivism could be shared right now. We all need it. We all need a boost to get our challenging selves back on and speak for what’s right.

Life is too short to make amendments but here’s your chance. If you can’t change the past, it’s okay. It’s never too late. Do something to glorify someone else’s future. Give someone a spark. Tell them they’re beautiful, without being artificial to themselves, to others. Tell them they don’t need to prove anything to anyone but themselves. Just tell them something, something which could encourage them to make their lives a better place.

This is what equitable and this is what we call “humanity”. As Edmond Mbiaka says, “Let integrity, humility, kindness, compassion, peace, and unity follow you wherever you go. We still have a chance at making this world a better place for us and our future generations. Stop complaining about all the negativity in this world and start contributing more positive words, decisions, and actions to it.”

‪#‎SpeakUp‬ ‪#‎BreakStereotypes‬

Shanawar 🙂

For A Friend…

I’ve really been MIA for a while. Not that I didn’t have any reason to write; in fact things changed so abruptly that I had billions of things to write; to express myself and to show what I am really capable of but sometimes keeping things in heart – where it screws you bad; there it teaches you so much more just be having a self assessment.

Anyways today is not about me; its about a friend. A friend who was once my closest friend and time turned the tables around which made us drift way apart from each other. Never for a second I regret my decision of leaving her or the entire group of friends; even by now but I never stopped loving her.

Maybe that’s how I am; I am way expressive about what I feel is right and what’s not and it drives many crazy around me. And it probably is the reason I walked out on her because I couldn’t support something wrong. Despite the fact that I stopped speaking to her I kept in touch with her via texts or social media to know how she’s doing and to be available for her whenever she needed me.

Me leaving her didn’t mean I stopped caring about her; I wasn’t just willing to participate in something I felt was way wrong and I personally was disappointed to know what she was capable of and it literally killed me.

Year passed by and I came to know her health has been dropping. I immediately contacted her to know what’s actually wrong with her and if whatever I heard from others is true? She told me she had some heart problem; few months ago she started getting tired over doing little things; she got breathless and felt out of oxygen; she also felt a certain type of pain in her body; she couldn’t describe and one morning she just puked and fainted.

She was taken to emergency and few tests were run on her. Everyone in her family was panicked to know that her heart was weak and wasn’t receiving enough blood which was causing problems for her in breathing as well as weakening her day by day. She was suffocating; scared and in a temporary shock that how from being never getting sick she suddenly had this terrible disease. Upon googling her symptoms I realized she’s going through a heart disease called “Ischemic”. Reading about it literally gave me chills but then she also confirmed me that she’s on bed rest and proper medications and doctors say she doesn’t need to get operated. I was relieved to hear that. It was quite a lot to take in already.

Every day I prayed for her to get better and I stayed in touch with her to know about her recovery. Even though her parents preferred to keep her away from technology so she would just rest; stay with family and have a healthy stress free life but she stayed in touch with me through whats-app anyways. I was glad she was doing well and it encouraged me to be back to normal with her more and to speak to her about past present and even future like what she’s planning to do or maybe we can go for a movie sometime. I also took hours to explain her to that things will fall back to normal. After pain comes ease and she’ll be running around soon. All she has to do is stop thinking about the scumbag who who never even deserved her (I also told her that someday I’ll go to University just to punch him for her sake and will take a selfie with his broken jaw to share his fate on social media lol)

But this time eventually she disappeared. I tried to contact her and sadly lost contact of her family as well. I asked few of the friends around to know how she was doing and according to them she was fine. I still left messages so whenever she would use her phone she would reach me.

Well she certainly did. She texted me by the end of the February that she has her surgery. I told her I’ll pray for her and she will be fine. She sounded quite fine and after a little chat we said our byes and off we were; busy in our own little lives.

Then near the end of the February I texted her to know; how she’s doing and when she has her surgery? Because I planned on visiting her. Unfortunately she never replied me. I thought she will when she would get her date for the surgery finalized but she never did.

Soon I got to know via a friend that she had her surgery and she is still unconscious. To add to my horror I also learnt that she had an “open heart surgery” now by the thought of it I was petrified. I couldn’t resist but started calling different friends to get her family’s number. I just wanted to know what’s wrong and how come she got so sick when while some time ago she was okay and talking to me about a catch up.

I rang her Mum; who didn’t sound too well. Of course being a parent of an only daughter and having troubles with such young daughter tend to make a parent age 20 years forward. I gathered my heart to speak to her. She didn’t explain me what was happening and why it all happened or when this all started. She just told me that the operation was a success last night and now she had been put on ventilator to support her to breathe. She told me that according to the doctors she is supposed to gain consciousness within 24 hours and that on her own to recover in a best possible way.

I really wanted to tell her mother; “Everything will be fine.” Or “Your daughter is one hella brave girl” or something even more courageous to strengthen her up but I was short at words. I just only could gather enough courage to say that “She is in my prayers every second and I’ll come to visit you as soon as possible.” After few hours I rang again to know if she gained any consciousness but the answer was “No” with light sobs from the other side and that just ruptured my tear glands. I just cried over phone while my mother spoke to her aunt and I left the room.

Now it’s late at night and since I’m already insomniac; I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t stop thinking about the best times I’ve had with her and the worse too. To be honest; good or bad; I lived my four years (well only two of them were great though)  of university with her and I cherish each and every memory of I had.

I hate her so much that I want to jerk her to wake her up and then beat her to unconsciousness and then wake her up again to hug her and tell her that she had been one shitty friend and has made my life miserable. I want to tell her that she needs to wake up because we both made promises that we won’t miss on each other’s weddings; even if we became blood thirsty. I want her to know that despite the fact I was away; I love her infinite and there is nothing in the world that can replace her. This I always wanted to tell her; every time she was jealous of my other friends or too obsessed with me; I tried telling her that she has her own place and others have their own and not even a single person in my life is irreplaceable.

I just want her to wake up and breathe on her own. I want her to know that I always loved her and will always love her no matter how far we live or even if we stay out of touch; she is always in my memories. I want her to know that every time I sat down to pray; she never skipped my mind. I prayed for the best coming towards her and that may she be blessed so much by God that she wouldn’t ever shed a single tear.

I just want her to wake up and laugh at the silly things we did. I want her to know that I’m always there. I know I will see her tomorrow but I don’t want to see her in the ICU hugged by different machines. I want her to sit right up and tell me that she’s fine and going to be home soon with her family. And she doesn’t even need me to stick around and be a saint. Haha. And I want to tell her to shut her mouth and plan for a movie as soon as she gets better. Just this once; I want her to know that I’m not okay to leave her and she better put her act together because I’m gonna get her in deep trouble.

But first I just want her to wake up because she means so much to me and I want her to know that every time she told me that I mean loads to her; I always believed that. I still do..

Thoughts

We don’t always want to share whatever’s building up inside us. It’s like a storm of thoughts just confuses you and finally you stop talking.

Where you were fighting for something, trying to keep yourself look happy, shying away from those touchy topics which might make your heartbeat race, arguing for the sake of the people you love the most or even crying for the ones you lost, all those emotions just turn into ashes. As if the pile of waste papers had been burnt down, because they suddenly worth nothing, zero and now instead of those stock of white papers you just see black ashes, which has such burning stench that it would make you senseless, almost like a walking dead.thoughts


You still think, that’s a long term and uncontrollable process but even your thoughts start blurring into something you sort of have no understanding about.

It is so queer how a human thinks. You can’t visit someone’s head for few minutes and know all about them just to have friendly relations. Of course, people or system, none are as easy as my words might sound.

A smiling face might be a dead soul with no hopes for a better future and a sad face could possibly be rich lass with just a ruined birthday cake. There are problems, in everyone’s life but their intensity is always unknown. No matter how close you might be to that person.

Just like how my best friend lost her father couple of years ago and I knew she was hurt but the intensity of pain, I couldn’t judge, I can’t ever feel the way she did. But I just knew how I would react or feel if I lose one of my parents. My life would take such a drastic change and the feeling of being cut into pieces and thrown into dungeon, the type of feeling nobody; nobody in the world could feel. Maybe not even my best friend, because again the intensity, which I would go through, would be according to the type of relation I would have with my parents.

Coming back to my thoughts and the changes which are running to me in my life are getting unbearably thick. I do want to say things out loud but I do not know if the other person would actually understand my thoughts, my fears or the animals which are haunting me, making me insomniac. I don’t want to be known as someone negative with no happiness in life but worries, in fact I just want someone to tell me, it’s going to be just fine. To guarantee me life would change but will get only better. I want someone to be with me forever and never let go off my side. Because I’m scared, just how a child feels when it’s being snatched by his parents, insecure and panicked or a maid, who might be in danger of sexual harassment from the strangers around her or maybe like a pigeon, with a dead wing who just dies out of hopelessness of never flying again, it’s his fears which eventually just murder him.

I do not want to be murdered by my fears but as time’s passing by, I have this feeling that I can trust no one with my thoughts, let it be my own family or my closest of the friends.

I guess, I would just have to let my thoughts bottle up, till the space fills. After all, at least they are the only thing I actually own, pure and just mine.

12 Years A Slave: Why I’m Glad it Won Best Picture

Afroculinaria

12 Years A Slave: Why I’m Glad it Won Best Picture

IMG_3425

   “Joyce is right about history being a nightmare –but it may be the nightmare from which no one can awaken.  People are trapped in history and history is trapped in them.”  –James Baldwin, “Stranger in the Village.”

If you follow me through social media you know I’m used to visiting plantation landscapes and dressing in the type of clothing enslaved people would wear.  I’ve cooked the enslaved way in many states across the former Confederacy and Border states.  I’ve picked cotton and worked in tobacco fields. I’ve been in rice and sugarcane fields in the Lowcountry and Lower Mississippi Valley dodging teenaged gators and poisonous snakes.  Plantations blind with darkness don’t scare me and I almost take comfort from the spirits that have surrounded me.  I have been in their presence—for real—and the ancestors have been both welcoming…

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